Today, we’ve got the third of a three-part conversation about safer sex. Issiah McKimmie and I continue chatting about the detailed pragmatics, as well as the broader communication and psychological issues. We start with dental dams, move onto safer sex strategies for kinky play, and finish on the role of shame in STI conversations.
Isiah can be found at https://www.isiah-mckimmie.com
Today we’ve got the 1st of three parts of a conversation I had with Issiah McKimmie. It started out being about how to do safer sex, but, y’know how these things go… It pretty much just wound up being about sex and communication and a whole bunch of jokes as we got deeper into the material.
Isiah can be found at https://www.isiah-mckimmie.com
Wow. What could possibly go wrong with this sweet, simple little question?
This conversation takes in everything from the mundane (such as giving yourself three days after writing an email before clicking ‘send’) through to the profound (such as how the question inspires an existential crisis and pleas to Buddha).
Getting sometimes confused and humble, but also managing to find some very sensible theories and tangible ideas, are:
Rog, from Curious Creatures;
Dossie Easton – author of The Ethical Slut (and various other progressive sexuality books), and counselor and relationships coach based in San Fransisco (dossieeaston.com); and
Anne Hunter, a relationships coach and polyamory specialist, in Melbourne, Australia (yourrelationshiptoolbelt.com).
In this episode (the final in a three-part series), Aerie (from Blue Velvet Arts) and Rog (from Curious Creatures) go through the questions on the Curious Creatures Consent Cards in detail. New and old players alike will find plenty in the way of juicy perspectives and personal stories about lessons learned the hard way.
The questions, are:
In this episode (second in three-part series), Aerie(from Blue Velvet Arts) and Rog (from Curious Creatures) go through the questions on the Curious Creatures Consent Cards in detail. New and old players alike will find plenty in the way of juicy perspectives and personal stories about lessons learned the hard way.
The questions, are:
In this episode, Aerie (from Blue Velvet Arts) and Rog (from Curious Creatures) go through the questions on the Curious Creatures Consent Cards in detail. New and old players alike will find plenty in the way of juicy perspectives and personal stories about lessons learned the hard way.
The questions, are:
Discuss: Consent is not ‘sexy’; consent is a human right. You either have it, or you don’t, and saying it’s sexy confuses the issues.
To discuss this topic, Rog (from Curious Creatures) is joined by:
Dossie Easton – author of The Ethical Slut (and various other progressive sexuality books), and counselor and relationships coach based in San Fransisco (dossieeaston.com).
Anne Hunter, a relationships coach and polyamory specialist, in Melbourne, Australia (yourrelationshiptoolbelt.com).
Want to hear some really good, genuine, down-to-earth players talk about what they think makes for a good dominant? …Tune in to this one folks, for some of the most smoothly delivered and honest appraisals of what power-play is all about.
Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by:
Aerie, from Blue Velvet Arts, who runs accessible and fun workshops on kink and communication in Melbourne, Australia.
Beejay, from Eagle Leather (in Abbotsford, Melbourne) – for all your fetish wear and equipment needs, and some great education / outreach also.
What’s your number one sex move? Is it a little wriggle with your finger at the right time? Something you do with your tongue? Or something entirely psychological?
To answer this question, Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by:
Cath Carter: Renowned sex therapist, counselor, and couples and singles coach. Cath has been in the field of sexuality for thirty years, is a walking embodiment of compassion and sex-positivity, and can be found at www.personalharmony.com.au.
Maureen Matthews: Author of ‘About Last Night’ in the Sunday Age newspaper, and operator of Bliss for Women. Maureen has been advising and coaching people on sexuality and relationship issues for over thirty years, and making a lot of lives better! http://www.bliss4women.com.au/
Getting deep into the subtleties of polyamory (and open-relationships and non-monogamy, generally), tune in to get the combined wisdom of 70 years of combined experience!
This conversation goes into the subtle ways we sometimes use agreements to control one another, or avoid facing what we don’t want to see within ourselves. It also includes information on how to put specific agreements in place that are unique to your relationships and that support all the people in your constellation, and personal stories on how agreements tend to change over time.
Not polyamorous? Fear not! – There’s a lot of information in here that’s just as applicable to monogamous relationship agreements!
Rog, from Curious Creatures, is joined by:
Dossie Easton – author of The Ethical Slut (and various other progressive sexuality books), and counselor and relationships coach based in San Fransisco (dossieeaston.com).
Anne Hunter, a relationships coach and polyamory specialist, in Melbourne, Australia (yourrelationshiptoolbelt.com).
In a conversation including consent (for a change!), safety, techniques, and the psychology of the way different people learn, Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by:
Aerie, from Blue Velvet Arts, who runs accessible and fun workshops on kink and communication in Melbourne, Australia.
Beejay, from Eagle Leather (in Abbotsford, Melbourne) – for all your fetish wear and equipment needs, and some great education / outreach also.
Does sex denial work well as sex education? Can you rely on what your schoolmates tell you in lieu of sex education?
When did you first learn about ‘consent’, and that some of what had been happening to you was ‘non-consent’?
Was it embarrassing, when you realised that what you’d learned from porn was partly amazing, and partly a bum-steer? Was that a bit… awkward?
Let’s have a really frank conversation about what it was like growing up and navigating your sex. Rog, from Curious Creatures, is joined by Dr Linda Kirkman – one of Australia’s foremost specialists in sexuality, and aging in particular. Linda is a counselor who you can see via Skype anywhere in the world, or locally in Victoria, Australia.
What follows is a very special conversation about Vaginismus, from the very personal perspective of three people with direct experience of the condition. Their stories are at times focussed around practical solutions that have worked for them, but mostly the therapeutic and interpersonal nature of their experience. They’re not claiming to be experts on the topic, however they are clearly experts regarding their own experiences.
Rog, from Curious Creatures, is joined by:
Anne Hunter, a relationships coach and polyamory specialist, in Melbourne, Australia (yourrelationshiptoolbelt.com).
Niyati Evers, a psychotherapist and counsellor from Portland, Oregon (alchemy-of-eros.com).
This is one of the great myths about sex – that our sexuality is essentially a wild, out of control beast waiting to consume us whole, the moment we let it off its leash. We have been taught, from so many places, to keep it locked down and not explore our interests.
Which begs a follow-up question: Why is our interest in sex so very different to our interest in – for example – football? Or anything else?
To answer this question, interviews with two people – one of them interested in sex, the other in football – are compared and contrasted in a way that illuminates just what a sex-negative (and, perhaps, a football-positive) world we live in. Prepare to be entertained, as Curious Creatures takes a few steps away from the usual ‘Curious Conversations About Sex’ format.
This episode is brought to you by Rog, from Curious Creatures (www.curiouscreatures.biz), and friends.
If you are seeking support in relation to your own potential sex addiction, in Australia you might want to start with Lifeline (13 11 14), or the counselors on the Curious Creatures resources page.
This conversation takes in aspects of sexuality that are important to everyone, but especially relevant to those of us that are aging (or planning to do so in the future).
Topics range from body positivity, to theoretical constructs around sexuality, to beautifully frank and specific suggestions and strategies.
Rog, from Curious Creatures, is joined by Dr Linda Kirkman – one of Australia’s foremost specialists in sexuality, and aging in particular. Linda is a counselor who you can see via Skype anywhere in the world, or locally in Victoria, Australia.
Why is violence suddenly meant to be okay if someone’s wearing a ball-gag? What’s misogyny / misandry play? How does slut-shaming fit into all of this? And is this going to be another conversation ending in a discussion about consent?
To answer these questions, Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by:
Aerie, from Blue Velvet Arts, who runs accessible and fun workshops on kink and communication in Melbourne, Australia.
Beejay, from Eagle Leather (in Abbotsford, Melbourne) – for all your fetish wear and equipment needs, and some great education / outreach also.
“My partner and I used to have sex, but not anymore, and I’m not even sure I want to, but I do still love them; any advice?”
What happens to sex that started out so wonderfully, but then trails off into the distance? Does that pattern happen to everyone? Is the solution to accept the inevitable, or attempt to wrestle desire back onto the rails?
These questions and so many more are tackled by Rog, from Curious Creatures, along with:
Anne Hunter, a relationships coach and polyamory specialist, in Melbourne, Australia (yourrelationshiptoolbelt.com).
Niyati Evers, a psychotherapist and counsellor from Portland, Oregon (alchemy-of-eros.com).
Find Curious Creatures at www.curiouscreatures.biz.
“I hate my body. I can’t stand to have it seen naked with the lights on. How am I ever meant to have sex?”
To answer this most vulnerable of questions, Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by:
Cath Carter: Renowned sex therapist, counselor, and couples and singles coach. Cath has been in the field of sexuality for thirty years, is a walking embodiment of compassion and sex-positivity, and can be found at www.personalharmony.com.au.
Maureen Matthews: Author of ‘About Last Night’ in the Sunday Age newspaper, and operator of Bliss for Women. Maureen has been advising and coaching people on sexuality and relationship issues for over thirty years, and making a lot of lives better! http://www.bliss4women.com.au/
Find Curious Creatures at www.curiouscreatures.biz.