In this episode (the final in a three-part series), Aerie (from Blue Velvet Arts) and Rog (from Curious Creatures) go through the questions on the Curious Creatures Consent Cards in detail. New and old players alike will find plenty in the way of juicy perspectives and personal stories about lessons learned the hard way.
The questions, are:
- How are we doing?
- What’s our brief description of what we’re planning to do?
- Why is this play interesting to you / me?
- What kind of experience are you / am I after?
- Have you / I done this kind of play before, or something like it?
- Can we check in, mid-play, using the scale of 0-10 to guage how intense it’s going (where 3-4 is warmup, and 6-7 is sustainable play)?
- If everything goes well, what is our upper limit for intensity?
- Do we have safe-words in place (eg. ‘green’ = all good; ‘orange’ = approaching a limit; ‘red’ = complete stop, debrief, then play may or may not continue…)?
- Can we leave marks (such as bruises, teeth-marks, scratches)?
- Do you / I have any injuries, health conditions or other body limitations that might be relevant?
- Are there any parts of our bodies (such as genitals, bum, chest) that we don’t want to be involved?
- Who might be gaining pleasure from this; who is it for?
- Is this activity likely to be triggering?
- Are you sober (and, if not, how can we make that safer)?
- What are our safer-sex practices (in terms of STI transmission), and are there any other safety issues?
- Will we need to do specific things to care for each other, afterwards?
- Are you happy to proceed? (Check for congruence, question any uncertainty).