Today, we’re looking into Restorative Justice again; this is the second in a two-part series, and I hate to do this to you, but I need you to go back and listen to the previous episode, if you haven’t already.  Seriously, a bunch of stuff in the following episode won’t make sense, and I’m worried about how some things might sound out of context.  It’ll be worth it, because this is a really juicy topic.

Rog, from Curious Creatures www.curiouscreatures.biz, has a revealing, intimate, and compelling conversation with:

– Fiona Landon, from Project Restore, in New Zealand.  Project Restore’s vision is for a New Zealand that is free from violence, and they do this through providing world-class Restorative Justice services, tailored to the needs of sexual assault.  They can be found at www.projectrestore.nz.

– David Karp is a professor with Skidmore University, USA.  He’s been a researcher, coordinator, and practitioner of Restorative Justice services in the university campus context for 15 years.  He can be found at www.skidmore.edu/sociology/faculty/karp.php.

The two Melbourne (Australia) based Restorative Justice services are:

Through the Victorian Government’s family violence unit: www.justice.vic.gov.au/fvrjservice

Through RMIT: www.cij.org.au/opencircle

Paid practitioner training: www.aarj.org.au/training

Today, we’re listening back to the first of two episodes from 2019, on Restorative Justice.

I’ve chosen these episodes to listen to again because I got a lot of positive feedback from other listeners about these episodes – to which I’d add that they’re two of my faves, too.

At the end, I’ll provide a bit of an update on some services that are available to those of you in Melbourne, Australia, where Curious Creatures are based.
Now let’s get to it…

Today, we’re talking about one of the only sources of hope, in an area most of us generally feel pretty hopeless about.

When sexual assault occurs, it often changes the lives of the people that are directly involved, and also those around them. It’s like a pivotal event, a moment in time, that patterns everything that comes afterwards, and the thing that’s so hopeless about it is that there seems to be so little in the way of anything resembling a positive outcome, for anyone.

Restorative Justice is a form of mediation where the fundamental idea is that the people that were involved in an incident, actually sit down and try and work out what justice might look like.

Rog, from Curious Creatures, has a revealing, intimate, and compelling conversation with:

– Fiona Landon, from Project Restore, in New Zealand. Project Restore’s vision is for a New Zealand that is free from violence, and they do this through providing world-class Restorative Justice services, tailored to the needs of sexual assault. They can be found at www.projectrestore.nz.

– David Karp is a professor with Skidmore University, USA. He’s been a researcher, coordinator, and practitioner of Restorative Justice services in the university campus context for 15 years. He can be found at www.skidmore.edu.

The two Melbourne (Australia) based Restorative Justice services are:

Through the Victorian Government’s family violence unit: www.justice.vic.gov.au

Through RMIT: www.cij.org.au

Paid practitioner training: www.aarj.org.au

Tess and I created the workshop ‘Opening Up To Opening Up’, as a deep-dive into the world of non-monogamy. We’ve had a think about which bits might be interesting here on the podcast, and would like to share with you the chapters on mythbusting, agreements, and jealousy.

A lot of this stuff is relevant to all relationship styles, not just non-monogamous ones. And if you’re not poly, it’ll certainly give you a little more insight into what goes on in this world.

These recordings are taken from the pre-recorded version of Opening Up To Opening Up: www.curiouscreatures.biz/opening-up-to-opening-up-pre-recorded.html

Okay. Today, we’re angling in the general direction of getting more insight around a very juicy topic.

To do that, I’m going to give you some of the theory from one of my workshops, called “Playing with the cards you’ve been dealt”. I promise, this is not a teaser, where you then have to pay for the workshop to get anything interesting or worthwhile. I’m giving you a whole chunk of stand-alone material right here, right now – it’s just that I’m stealing it from one of my workshops. Ha ha, joke’s on me.

The four categories of advantage / privilege discussed are:

1. Physical
2. Social / Structural
3. Psychological
4. Spiritual

The workshop that much of this content is stolen from is on in Melbourne, Australia, on June 27 2021.

More information here: www.curiouscreatures.biz/power-rank-and-privilege-playing-with-the-cards-you-have.html

Curious Creatures are at: www.curiouscreatures.biz/

Sex and cancer.

If you think this doesn’t apply to you, you’re almost certainly wrong. About one in two, or maybe one in three of us, will have cancer at some stage in our lives. But almost all of us will have someone close to us get cancer, and so will find ourselves as partners or carers getting an intimate relationship with cancer one way or another.

In this episode, my partner Tess and I invite another couple over for a game of Q&A around the themes of sex, cancer, relationships, and intimacy. Tori and Drew, the other couple, just want to be referred to by their first names.

It so happens that all four people are polyamorous, and it’s interesting to see how polyamory played into the cancer diagnosis and treatment process. To hint at what’s coming up, let’s just say that being poly wasn’t at all a bad thing.

This episode will also make a lot of sense to anyone that’s got a chronic illness, a disability, or some other health crisis.

Tess Deveze’s course for couples with cancer: www.connectionandcancer.com

Tess Deveze’s general page: www.connectabletherapies.com

I wrote a book, and I’m going to read some of it to you today.

It’s got nothing to do with sex, but it’s on a topic I know many of you find interesting.

It’s called ‘Success for Slackers’, and it’s about how to come up with a business or a role that’s good for you, good for the people around you, and good for whatever planet you happen to be on.

Find out more about the book (and workshop): www.curiouscreatures.biz/success-for-slackers-book.html

Buy the book on Amazon: www.amazon.com.au/dp/B08WHZLJ3T

Curious Creatures: www.curiouscreatures.biz

Today, I want to share with you some ideas on how to have an ‘altered states’ date.

From a psychological perspective, an altered state is a state of mind that is different from whatever you regard as your normal. It means that the way your mind is working, or the way you’re feeling, is somehow different, and you can’t immediately get back to whatever your ‘normal’ is.

Sometimes you can be in an altered state for no apparent reason, but sometimes there’s an obvious cause, like insomnia, or heavy anxiety, or the experience of being madly in love with someone, or being triggered from a strong psychological experience. And so forth.

You are also, of course, in an altered state when you consume alcohol or other drugs, and that’s what we’re talking about today. Specifically, we’re talking about the use of the illegal drug MDMA for the purposes of getting into an altered state with a partner, and having why I call an ‘altered states date’.

Today, I’m being interviewed by the crew from Off The Cuffs, which is a podcast with a focus on bdsm and the lifestyle around it.

These folks are funny – I like them. Their names are Dick-Wound, Minimus Maximus, and Lexual Romance. The conversation covers one of my favorite kinks – bum-drumming, kinky scenes as a form of creative expression, the nuances of using safe-words, and a bit about Curiosity, the sexuality event I run.

They’ve got a pretty casual, conversational style, and we start straight in, without any warmup. They’ve just asked me to talk about a time when things haven’t gone as expected…

Links:
Forum for this podcast: forum.curiouscreatures.biz
Counselling with Roger Butler: counselling.curiouscreatures.biz
Off The Cuffs podcast: www.offthecuffs.org
Curious Creatures’ Pre-recorded Workshops: www.curiouscreatures.biz

Today, we’re listening back to one of our most popular – and adventurous – episodes from early 2019: Kissing.

What do you like, and not like, about kissing?

How good are you at training a new person in how to kiss you?

More importantly, how do you feel about training this person that’s in front of you, right now, in how to kiss you?

They’re the questions Rog (from Curious Creatures) and Isiah McKimmie front up to for you, in this episode. It’s an intro to kissing like you’ve never heard.

Isiah is a sex-therapist, relationship counsellor, and sexologist, who can be found at www.isiah-mckimmie.com

Today, I’m having a spirited conversation with Georgie Wolf. You’ve heard her on the show before, because she’s 68 different kinds of awesome.

When I say, “I’m having a conversation with Georgie”, what I actually mean, is, “Georgie is having a conversation with me”. She recorded this for her podcast, which is called the Art of the Hookup – more about that at the end of the show.

We started out with the topic of shame, as in, the shame that goes on in relation to sex and sexuality. Here’s the thing – if you think this topic doesn’t apply to you, you’re almost certainly wrong. Shame is almost everywhere, and it becomes an embedded part of all of our sexualities – we internalise the shame.

It influences how we approach other people, how they approach us, how we relate to our bodies and our pleasure, and it has implications for our mental health. It’s got huge implications, too, for our relationships. But this chat is anything but doom-and-gloom; there’s as much here about solutions as there is about the problem itself.
So buckle up, get a cup of tea, and listen to Georgie and I getting really excited about shame…

Links mentioned in episode:

Georgie Wolf – The Art of the Hookup – www.artofthehookup.com

Curious Creatures (including online & pre-recorded workshops) – www.curiouscreatures.biz

Counselling with Roger Butler – counselling.curiouscreatures.biz

We’ve been getting a few questions lately about agreements in polyamory – and since it’s a topic we covered way back in 2017, today we’ll be listening back to that episode.

With Rog are two sex educators and polyamory specialists, Anne Hunter and Dossie Easton. You should definitely check out Dossie’s book, ‘The Ethical Slut’, which is something of a bible when it comes to exploring non-monogamy.

Also, you’ll want to check out Curious Creatures’ workshop, Opening Up To Opening Up, which is available online as well as in-person when the pandemic sorts itself out.

We’ll also have a pre-recorded, ‘view anytime’ version available soon.

Opening Up To Opening Up workshop: www.curiouscreatures.biz/opening-up-to-opening-up-online

The Ethical Slut book: www.dossieeaston.com/books.html

Dossie Easton: www.dossieeaston.com

Anne Hunter: www.annehunter.com.au

Today, I’m finally doing something I’ve been wanting to do for ages.

If you’ve ever been to one of our in-person or online Socials, you’ll already be familiar with what I call Q&A, where one person asks a question, then each person takes turns to answer.

We’re about to do that here, with four sex educators, who become both interviewers and interviewees. Cool, huh?

Guests:

Georgie Wolf – The Art of the Hookup – www.artofthehookup.com

Tamica Wilder – somatic sex educator – Facebook www.facebook.com/neosomasexcoach

Tess – Occupational Therapist specialising in sexuality – www.connectabletherapies.com

Rog – Curious Creatures – www.curiouscreatures.biz

Today, I’m finally doing something I’ve been wanting to do for ages.

If you’ve ever been to one of our in-person or online Socials, you’ll already be familiar with what I call Q&A, where one person asks a question, then each person takes turns to answer.

We’re about to do that here, with four sex educators, who become both interviewers and interviewees. Cool, huh?

Guests:

Georgie Wolf – The Art of the Hookup – www.artofthehookup.com

Tamica Wilder – somatic sex educator – Facebook www.facebook.com/neosomasexcoach

Tess – Occupational Therapist specialising in sexuality – www.connectabletherapies.com

Today, we’re listening back to an episode from 2017, where a listener asks for advice on how to become a dom. For those of you not in the kink scene, the word ‘dom’ is short for dominant, which is actually surprisingly hard to define, but you might say: The dominant is the person that’s steering, or perhaps controlling, the play. But that’s actually not entirely accurate, because what happens between two people should be defined by the two of them; it’s not like the dom can just do what they want.

Anyway, let’s handball over to my guests to get into the detail. My first guest is BJ, from Eagle Leather, which is a great fetish-oriented retail outlet in Melbourne. I’ve gotten a lot of great gear from them over the years, and I warmly recommend them.

My second guest is Aerie, from Blue Velvet Arts, who teach ropes and related skills, also in Melbourne. Links to both are in the show notes.

Eagle Leather: www.eagleleather.com.au
Blue Velvet Arts: www.bluevelvetarts.com

We start by talking a little about a potential solution to the problem of social isolation.

Then, we move into a talk that Rog gave at The Weekly Service, on how Curious Creatures came into being, the Consent Cards, Ethics and advertising, sex and capitalism, deep-dive into consent in practice, faking orgasms, higher and lower libido).

The Online Socials can be found at www.curiouscreatures.biz/online-social.html

Curious Creatures are at www.curiouscreatures.biz

The Weekly Service is at theweeklyservice.org

Our workshop ‘Fun Little Sex Games’ is at www.curiouscreatures.biz/fun-little-sex-games1.html

And our workshop ‘Pathways to your Pleasure’ is at www.curiouscreatures.biz/pathways-to-your-pleasure.html

Our Consent Cards can be found at www.consentcard.com

Today’s topic, is about gender, and your gender identity. Welcome to one of the most confusing, and consistently misunderstood topics… in the world.
We’re going to walk through a structure – a way of thinking about gender identity – that will likely help with your understanding of yourself, and also those around you.

Today’s episode is by Rog, from Curious Creatures: curiouscreatures.biz

Today, we’re listening again to an episode from early 2017, responding to the question of “What’s your number one sex move?”.

To tackle this, I’m chatting with Maureen Matthews, and Cath Carter. Maureen writes a column in the Sunday Age, called ‘About Last Night’. And Cath, up until her death earlier this year, was a counselor and central figure in Australia’s sex-positive community. I miss her, and her contributions to the world.

Anyway… Join us for a chat about our number one sex moves.

Curious Creatures can be found at curiouscreatures.biz

Today, we’re chatting with Myola Woods, who’s a sexuality specialist from Sydney, Australia. She’ll be in Melbourne from Feb 26-29, presenting five workshops, all of which you can find at curiouscreatures.biz.

Myola can be found at www.eroticcoaching.com.au