Today, we take the useful but politicised and weaponised perspective of privilege, and turn it into and even more useful perspective that leads us to understanding, peace, and solutions.
We start with a review of the current state of thinking, and articulate how that leads us to The Great Privilege Paradox. From there, we add nuance and complexity in a way that doesn’t negate our current thinking, but adds to it. We show how playfully tossing around the concept of privilege can make for great self-awareness, and we show that things are oh so much more nuanced than most people think.
A promise: No-one will get whacked over the head with a privilege-stick in this episode.
The gender revolution is one of the most important changes that’s ever happened in human culture. Its core intentions, its core missions, are undeniably needed.
Now that we’re 70 years into it, in some areas the gender revolution continues to progress. However, in other areas progress has slowed or stalled. Worse, in some areas we’re going backwards. After 70 years, the finish line is nowhere in sight.
I believe it’s time we considered why our progress is faltering, and what needs to change to bring about the next wave of the movement. At the broadest level, I suggest that historically we’ve mostly focussed on articulating and dealing with the problems after they’ve happened – what we need to do now is shift our attention to what’s causing the problems in the first place. This is going to take us into some radical and sometimes uncomfortable new territory, but it will lead us more directly to the just world we seek.
Well this is a rollicking romp of a conversation, in three parts.
I’m chatting with Dr Elliot, from https://myfirmtech.com/. Links are in the shownotes. Dr Elliot Justin has a background in emergency medicine, more recently specialising in sex and technology.
We started by having a chat about his product lines, which might be of a slightly narrower range of interest compared to what we normally cover, and it’s a bit more commercially-oriented than the usual vibe we go for here.
Then, about 24 mins in, we move into what I found to be a really interesting conversation about the broader future of AI and sex toys, which ranges from flights of fancy through to downright depressing. And you know how much I love the stuff others think of as depressing.
Finally, the last third is the conversation you have after you’ve recorded what you think you’re going to use, but then it turns out to be at least as interesting as what you were meant to be talking about. So I’ve left it in.
When I was recording it, I was going to chop things around and put the future-focussed philosophical stuff first, because I thought that the initial product info would be too narrow-cast.
But listening back, I think there might actually be something there for everyone, so I’m just going to leave the whole thing unedited, including the bit at the end that’s not meant to exist.
So here’s a conversation about cock rings, clitoris monitoring devices, health and heart-care, the future of robots and AI, the end of the species, and the problems with taking on an algorithm for happiness and hand-jobs. Good luck with that.
One word of warning: Generally, I try to avoid letting through language that assumes that people of a given gender have any particular genital type, as way of making the content inclusive.
In some ways, today’s show is a fail on that front. At the same time, there is some information here about how these products are very useful from a trans perspective, and it’s spoken about appropriately.
So, in some ways, today’s show is a win.
I’m still here. I still love you.
Since we last spoke, a lot of extraordinary things happened, resulting in me stopping workshops kind of abruptly, and selling The Practice Lab.
I will probably say more about all of that in a future episode, but for now, perhaps as a down-payment on some of that, let’s listen back all the way to 2017, with Barbara Carrellas and Cyndi Darnell.
So I’ll probably do an episode about that.
And I’m planning on doing a whole bunch of episodes after that on where I think the gender movement needs to go. Quietly excited.
But in truth, I’m doing one step at a time at the moment, and I have no idea what’s next. It’s ace. You should maybe try it. Or not.
But if you’re wondering if I’m dropping the podcast… At least at this point in time, no. Our love would appear to be safe, to the extent that love can ever be considered safe.
Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by:
Barbara Carrellas – World renowned author, workshop therapist, coach, adviser and speaker. Barbara has written many books, including the revolutionary ‘Urban Tantra’ and ‘Ecstasy is Necessary’. Find her at www.barbaracarrellas.com.
Cyndi Darnell – Therapist, facilitator, author and speaker. Cyndi has been a committed leader within the field of sexuality for decades and offers powerful therapeutic assistance in all matters related to sexuality and relationships. Find her at www.cyndidarnell.com.
Today, we’re chatting about gender, and how your identity is influenced by the events you experience in your life. The conversation is especially interested in how minority genders such as non-binary and trans identities are formed, and how there’s healthy and less than healthy ways that plays out.
My guest is Avgi Saketopoulou, who along with Ann Pellegrini, has recently written a book called “Gender without Identity”.
Today, we talking about the Death Cult Club, Lomi Lomi, and Integrated Oncology with Alice Peebles. It includes a couple of side-journeys around consent and trauma-informed practice, and touches on Alice’s and Rog’s personal Death Cult Club Goals.
Oh, and some tips on how you can start your own Death Cult Club!
Today, answering the question, of what to do when things go wrong – especially when you’re topping.
To answer it, I’m back with Seani Love, an award-winning sex-worker and workshop facilitator. The conversation comes across like you’ve walked in on a couple of kinky therapists having a chat, which is precisely what it is – a nuanced deep-dive into exactly what emotional safety looks like in practice, from a couple of folks that have made mistakes and learned from them.
Lee Harrington, who’s been on the show a couple of times previously, has recently written the book “Becoming Your Own Beloved”. It’s a wild investment in yourself, and a radical piece of activism against some modern dilemmas.
Lee and Rog talk self-care, gender, lateral violence in minority gender groups, and some good old life philosophy.
Today, I’m doing a reaction video to a Jordan Peterson interview, except without the video. So I’m just having a reaction, I guess.
In the original interview, which I’ll link to in the shownotes, Jordan is speaking about sex, consent, and sex outside of marriage. On top of that, I want to add another couple of thoughts on things Jordan at the end.
Heads up, this is mostly just me disagreeing with Jordan, but not all of it. He raises some good points, and honestly, it’d be interesting to get his take on a few things without the intensity of the polarised social media landscape he exists in; so much of what he says is a polarised response to a polarised attack, and it can be hard to actually get a sense of a person with all that noise.
Today, we’re chatting with Joli about jealousy – how it’s an awesome thing waiting to happen, what to put in place to avoid unnecessary amounts of it, how it pairs with attachment styles, and how to talk about it. Also, a bunch of thoughts on starting poly, navigating poly, and some relationship ideas that are good for mono and poly styles.
A revisit of comments Rog made in the last episode, particularly around a criticism of the grass-roots Christian movement. (This is one of those rare times where we strongly recommend you listen to that episode first).
Today, we’re getting back to our journalistic roots, and exposing one of Australia’s biggest sex scandals. You might be wondering why an otherwise light and accessible sexuality podcast would venture into such territory, however the editorial team here at Curious Conversations About Sex felt that if we’re to explore the positive elements of sex, then perhaps it’s important that we provide a contextual reference point regarding what you might regard as the dark underbelly of the movement.
The most wild thing about the sex scandal that we’re delving into today, is that it’s been happening in plain sight, right under your nose… for decades. By exploiting a legal grey area and posing as something that it clearly isn’t, it’s managed to somehow avoid the attention of regulators, law enforcement, and a largely unsuspecting public… Until now.
Today, I’ve hand-selected a bonus episode for you.
It’s from the podcast ‘Come As You Are’, and it’s about your hardware – by which I mean, your genitals, junk, hoo-har, your funky fandangle, whatever it is you call it.
More specifically, it’s about how all of our genitals have things in common, and how we all get formed from the same stock. I love that stuff, how it breaks down a lot of the idea that we’re like completely separate and incomparable creatures, based on our genitals, with no experiences or problems in common.
The episode starts with a listener calling in to ask about their partner’s bent dick, but it quickly expands out to include other genital configurations in a nice and body-positive way.
Today, I’m having a fast and exciting conversation with Fiona Patten, who leads the Australian Reason Party. We get into politics, sex, gender equality, and collaboration as an alternative to the adversarial political system. Oh, and we touch on assisted dying, drug legalisation, and a bunch of other stuff.
What stands out for me about this conversation is how *real* it is. That wouldn’t normally stand out, but it’s quite an impressive quality in a politician. I found it refreshing.
I’ve been going on a lot lately about the way porn winds up being sex education if there’s no other sex education available, and how that’s sometimes a good thing and sometimes maybe not such a good thing.
So I thought it would be great to go back and listen to this episode from 2019 with Jessica Blake, who’s a porn performer wrestling with just that problem. Take it away, historical Rog and Jessica…
Today, I’m being interviewed by Steve from the Choose Love Podcast. Since he was interviewing me, some of it’s about me and how I came to be doing what I do… Then from there, we launch into what’s going on for most people in the world of sex, how sex education is meeting our needs or just, like, totally failing, and what I’ve learned along the way.
I found it to be a really enjoyable chat, I hope you do too.
I would like to see if I can blow your mind, at least a little bit, regarding unsolicited dick-pics. Actually, what’s happening in this episode, is that you get to listen in on a conversation I had with two people, where I set about blowing their minds about dick-pics – about the phenomenal circumstances that lead to their existence, and the surprising array of things that are going to need to change to fix the problem.
Settle in for an entertaining and enlightening conversation.
Tess, who appears on today’s episode, is an Occupational Therapist with a speciality in sexuality. Find them at www.connectabletherapies.com.
I’m looking forward to being back in your ears, starting with a cracker of a conversation in about a week.
In the meanwhile, I’m going to pop in a bonus episode from our friends over at Pushkin. It’s the first episode from a podcast of theirs called Hot Money, and it’s about the business machinations of what goes on in the porn industry. I find this interesting, because… Well, you’ve heard me complain from time to time about what happens when porn that’s designed as entertainment is mistaken for education. I’m not anti-porn, and nor is Hot Money, but there are some drawbacks to how things are playing out that we need to reckon with.
This episode totally explores the business side of what’s driving that confusion, and articulates why a decent chunk of the sector is driven by motivations that are a long way from being educational in their intention, or from wanting to make the world a better place.
Things are busy, as we come out of lockdown. This episode is an update about that.
In short, Curious Conversations About Sex is taking a break. We suggest just leaving us subscribed in your feed, and at some stage in the future, we hope to be in your ears again.
